Saturday, August 30, 2008

Happy Post 06

Lord knows I dearly love anything dotmatrix.

Awhiles back Z. downloaded a whole series of background art from a game called DinoRun. I just remembered them today and this is what my desktop looks like now:


It's the end of the game, in which our little dino hero has escaped the clutches of Dino-margeddon to reach Dino-topia! It's exactly the sort of place I'd like to live out my life at the end of my game (always assuming I managed to outrun extinction) - infinitely modest, yet elegant and comfortable.

The game itself is more fun than choosing an ice-cream at Baskin Robbins!

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Endings and beginnings

Back in KL for a few days.

Hell and death, if I never have to see another scrap of blue plastic tarpulin as long as I draw breath I should die happy. The show is coming down at last.

Cobwebs are clearing fast in my head... Some hints about the infant, at this stage completely hypothetical show 'Seeing and Hearing': magic tricks, street magicians, little magic props and any old excuse to buy and exhibit a top hat...

More later.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Drunken post


Hahahah. Didn't take very long did it? Making noble inroads into that bottle of Smirnoff.

The night before last, as I fell asleep, I saw right in front of me, through the mosquito net, a small little green glow, as if a faint star had descended into my concrete hut. Stupid and hazy between dream and life, my thoughts ran thus:

OMG. It's a light. WTF is it doing there? Am I dreaming? I feel quite awake though.
*blink*
Shit, it's still there. You know what they say about seeing a light in the jungle - don't look at it! It may be some pontianiak shennenigans, dey!
But it's so pretty...
*blink*
Still there. Aiyoh. Maybe it's a _______. But who am I kidding, those things disappeared ages ago. Whatever. Sleep la.

Well, I didn't dare to hope, but G. confirmed tonight that there are fireflies around here. So I have been visited. Poor lonely little thing. If it comes again I will stare and stare at it, I promise!

Tomorrow I will try to catch this almost mythical U401 bus into town.

Yesterday night, because of the day's rain, the stars were out in all their glory. I turned off the lights and sat staring at them, rapt and humbled. That simple grace I've known intermittently throughout my life, brought into being by the most cliched of things (sunsets, stars, full moons, ballet, etc.), wrapped around me like an invisible blanket...

Betta: You know, I wish I would just see likd a snake or a giant centipede, so that I can freak out once and then be done with it
G.: Hey, give it time
Betta: I just want to get the freak out out of the way, you know
G.: You may not even see one!
Betta: *forging ahead* So did this centipede actually get onto your foot or was it NEAR your foot? These things matter .
G.: Uhh. It was NEAR, not actually ON.
Betta: *shudder*

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Working backwards


Think it softly and say it in a whisper.

For some unknown reason, I think that the show at the end of the year may be called 'Seeing and Hearing'.

But don't ask why and don't tell anyone. Yet.

Who would believe it, 10 years on...

... we say these words with more urgency than ever. Read it and then read Jose Saramago's "Seeing"

DEKLARASI PERMATANG PAUH
Menyedari gesaan al-Quran yang bermaksud “tidaklah kami mahu melainkan untuk melakukan islah sekuat daya kami";

Dan berilhamkan tradisi budaya-budaya Asia yang keseluruhannya menganjurkan pembaharuan diri dan masyarakat; Dan menginsafi bahawa Malaysia kini dicengkam kemelut yang dahsyat dan memerlukan kekuatan dalaman untuk bangun semula; Maka kami rakyat Malaysia yang berbilang bangsa dan agama bertekat untuk melancarkan gerakan reformasi yang menyeluruh:

Gerakan reformasi yang terpancar perjuangan hati nurani,dari kesedaran bahawa sesungguhnya diri manusia itu mulia dan merdeka, mempunyai hak dan tanggungjawab, diri manusia haram dizalimi dan diaibkan, haram di belenggu dan disekat tanpa mengikut proses dan undang-undang yang adil;

Gerakan reformasi untuk menegakkan keadilan untuk semua, yang kuat dan yang lemah, yang kaya dan yang miskin; membersihkan institusi dan proses undang-undang dari dicemari oleh penyalahgunaan kuasa dan rasuah;

Gerakan reformasi untuk mendaulatkan kuasa rakyat melalui proses demokrasi. Demokrasi itu satu kemestian, kerana semangat keadilan yang ada dalam diri manusia membolehkan demokrasi dilaksana, tetapi kecenderungan manusia untuk berlaku zalim menjadikan demokrasi satu kewajipan;

Gerakan reformasi untuk memperjuangkan keadilan ekonomi,menjana pertumbuhan dan pengagihan yang saksama, jangan yang kaya bertambah kaya yang miskin papa kedana. Dunia ini mencukupi untuk keperluan semua, tetapi tidak mencukupi untuk memenuhi kerakusan individu;

Gerakan reformasi untuk membanteras rasuah dan penyalahgunaan kuasa, mengikis manipulasi pasaran oleh segelintir golongan rakus dan mahakaya;

Gerakan reformasi untuk memperkukuhkan jayadiri budaya yang dinamis, setia kepada warisan bangsa yang murni dan terbuka kepada segala yang baik dari semua budaya;

Gerakan reformasi untuk membawa bangsa Malaysia ke zaman maklumat dan dunia tanpa sempadan, menjana kebijaksanaan, keyakinan dan keterbukaan untuk menjalin persahabatan sejagat berdasarkan prinsip kebenaran dan keadilan.

Kami akan menggerakkan reformasi ini dengan aman, mengikut semangat perlembagaan dan bernafaskan prinsip pemerintahan undang-undang.

Masanya telah tiba. Bersatulah untuk reformasi.

Permatang Pauh
12 September 1998


PERMATANG PAUH DECLARATION
Being conscious of the Quranic injunction which urges striving towards betterment;

And inspired by the Asian traditions, which all encourage renewal for the individual and for society;

And acknowledging that Malaysia is in the grip of a terrible crisis and requires recourse to its inner strengths in order to rise again,

We the citizens of Malaysia of all cultural and religious backgrounds are determined to launch a movement for comprehensive reform:

A reform movement shining with a light radiating from aspiring and pure hearts; from the awareness that man is truly noble and free, with rights and responsibilities, that it is a sacrilege to abuse and denigrate any man or woman, to bind and restrict any man or woman without following the due process of just laws;

A reform movement to establish justice for all, the weak and strong, the rich and poor, to preserve the institutions and processes of law from the defilement of graft and abuse of power;

A reform movement to sanctify the power of the people through democratic means, for democracy is an imperative: man’s capacity for justice makes democracy possible, but man's inclination to injustice makes democracy necessary;

A reform movement that champions economic justice, one that advocates fairness in economic growth and distribution so that the rich do not get richer at the expense of the poor, for the world has enough for everyone, but too little to satisfy everyone’s greed;

A reform movement to eradicate graft and abuse of power, to strip the opulent and greedy clique of their power to manipulate the market;

A reform movement to reinforce a dynamic cultural identity, where faith in our noble cultural traditions is intact, but there is openness to all that is good in all traditions;

A reform movement to launch the Malaysian nation into the information age and the borderless world, encouraging wisdom, self-assurance and openness towards a global friendship based on the principles of truth and justice.

We launch this reform movement as a peaceful movement, in accordance with the spirit of the Constitution and in observance of the principles of the rule of law.

The hour has come. Unite for Reformasi.

Permatang Pauh
12 September 1998

Monday, August 18, 2008

It's a hill not a mountain


Balik Pulau, Penang

My accommodations:

Hard to say. To call it a house would be somewhat over generous, yet 'hut' seems a little harsh. It is true that the walls and floor suffer from a lack of paint, making the atmosphere closer to a cell-block than anyone could wish. But there is hot water and electricity, the roof is tiled, and there is internet! It is true that upon closer inspection, me and G. discovered today that the 'mattress' resembles a giant dish sponge. But I haven't slept under a mosquito net nor fallen asleep to the sound of insects since I was a child.

My days:

Long and full with reading, finding the most comforting configuration for the furniture, dusting away cobwebs which seem to grow overnight, fixing food, drinking vodka and staring into space. It started raining yesterday night and continued all day today. At some point I'm sure we were in the middle of a cloud which was gathering more and more weight until it finally turned itself into a giant downpour.

My friends:

G. is the other artist, living in the hut next to mine. She has been here 6 weeks and is positivity and resourcefulness itself! We oriented ourselves well from the very beginning, seeming to sense when the other requires solitude, use of the modem or an offer of alcohol. There are a few forlorn looking dogs and a cat named Mexico who adopted G. in the early days. L. and N. are a Thai couple who work for the resort up the hill. We are an odd little community to be sure, but very comfortable. This place certainly needs to see a good party or two, which we plan to have in the near future.

My work and mind:

Dormant. Both seem to be slumbering away in a dark corner. I prod them every day to see how they are doing, but not too hard! Every morning I wake up and find the weight still there. The other evening I watched L. and N. walk together down the path at the bottom of the hill. They have been married 27 years. I liked seeing how they appeared to communicate silently - you could almost draw some faint lines between them if the idea wasn't so crass. It made me happy and I felt a little like my old self again. I wanted to learn sign language when I was here... maybe that's what I'll do.

Good night.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

From the bottom of the river

Hello there. I'm floating to the surface again, getting used to life after some tough times. There will be more updates soon. Miss me? Hehe.