Self-medication

drinking
bathing
smoking
waiting
working
waiting
reading
drinking
waiting

'like looking up suddenly from here
to impossible stars fading'

'and you put one word in your left shoe,
and one in your right, and you go walking'

'Things I never knew I loved'
'I never knew I liked
night descending like a tired bird on a smoky wet plain
I don't like
comparing nightfall to a bird'

waiting

'and where you live is where you'll be buried
and when you dream it's where you were born'

'My need to transform reality was a necessity, as important as three meals a day or sleep'

Mishima: A Life in Four Chapters was directed by Paul Schrader

'The trouble with Malaysia is that we don't act like we have that kind of power'

waiting

'and here I've loved rivers all the time
motionless like....' *can't remember

'and I know you can't wash in the same river even once
I know the river will bring new lights you'll never see'

'his poetry like a compass, traced circles, some intimate, some wide and global, with only the sharp point inserted in the prison cell'

'There are seven levels of despair - one for every day of the week.'

'I just remembered the stars
I love them too'

'Stack in me the unaccountable fire'

'In the city in which I love you
no one comes to meet me'

'Make my various names flock overhead
I will follow you'

'I didn't know i liked rain'...*something something...
*can't remember

I'm still waiting. Perhaps if I move around from one place to another in my house it will be better. I can take a walk around my housing estate. I can read Castle Waiting which I really seemed to like last night.

Nobody's fault.