My crushes

(Names are concealed to protect the innocent)

UPDATE: HOW COULD I FORGET? Here are my greatest most eternal loves. Forged in the mighty oceans. Soaked and fortified in the brine of the deep. Or something like that.



CRUSH #1: So dark, so brooding, so athletic. Has so many problems, needs love and help. Buuuuuut....


Imagine my disappointment when I saw this! Although it's also sort of a turn-on... (lets not go there) Don't worry, we can work it out.




CRUSH #2: So thin, so pale, so brooding. Has HAD so many problems but is now happily married, alas! Voice like rocks crushed with diamonds. Writes lyrics like: 'You brighten my life like a polystyrene hat, but it melts in sun like a life without love'. Ahhhhh.




CRUSH #3: So thin, so brooding, so so so smart. Pro: my favorite artist. Con: own brain feels like a pea next to his. One of my life goals to shake his hand. Hope he never sees this post.




CRUSH #4: So big, so strong, so brooding. Such an asshole but deep inside really only wants love and validation. Looks good in powdered wig. (BTW, it is NOT William Shatner)




CRUSH #5: So retro, but so desirable. Very 2-dimensional. Quite pixelated by today's standards. But oh that jaunty cap! (Just in case you think it's the dragon)



Happy oggling dahlinks. Now I must needs go back to work. Next week: the women.