Restless

Tonight, I hear random lines of Li Young Lee's poem 'Restless' flick back and forth in the space between my ears, like my whole mind divided into bass and treble.

'And where you live is where you’ll be buried,
and when you dream it’s where you were born...'

I can't catch the rhyme and reason of things and lie here, incomplete, half-closed eyes like some lazy animal pretending to be sinister.

'and the moon never hangs in both skies
on the same night,

and that’s why you think the moon has a sister,
that’s why your day is hostage to your nights,

and that’s why you can’t sleep except by forgetting,
you can’t love except by remembering.

And that’s why you’re divided: yes and no.
I want to die. I want to live.
Never go away. Leave me alone.'

One is overcome by self-indulgence, imagining some unfortunate blight, some lameness of character like being lame in the foot. Recriminations, weaknesses. The inability to control the flow of one's mind.

'And you put one word in your left shoe,
one in your right, and you go walking.'

Longing for relief, reaching for pen and paper, or switching on the light - tap tap tap into the night, finding the lullaby that will slow down the upper beat of the heart.

'And when you lie down you tuck them
under your pillow, where they give rise
to other words: childhood, fate, and rescue.
Heaven, wine, return.'

Goodnight. Tip of the hat and love to newty - he is after all her favorite poet and she was kind enough to share him.